Will parody do? Harry's on the shit list already, what's Voldemort going to do, kill him? FIRST YOU DECIDE TO RUIN MY LIFE BY MURDERING MY PARENTS SUBJECTING ME TO A LIFE OF ETERNAL TORTURE WITH MY RELATIVES THAT I DON'T EVEN CONSIDER FAMILY, THEN YOU DECIDED TO TRY AND KILL ME WITH QUIRELL, THEN YOU TRY TO MURDER ME WITH THE DIARY THAT MADE YOU LOOK LIKE A HOT BASTARD, THEN YOU TRY AND MURDER ME WITH A BUNCH OF DEMENTORS, THEN YOU KILL CEDRIC DIGGORY, WHO I WILL REMIND YOU, HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR SHITTY MESS, THEN YOU REVIVE YOURSELF AND CHALLENGE A 14 YEAR OLD TO A DULE BECAUSE YOUR PATHETIC ASS CAN'T HANDLE THE FACT THAT YOU DIED BECAUSE MY MOTHER USED HERSELF TO PROTECT ME, THEN YOU IN YOUR NON-EXISTENT WISDOM DECIDED TO GIVE ME NIGHTMARES FOR NO APPARENT REASON!??!?!? The room was silent for a second before Lord Voldemort and Lucius yelled in unison, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE FILTHY HOUSE ELF/DOBBY". For the first time in 100 years, Phyllida's Flutterby bushes will bloom at Hogwarts. Unfortunately for Harry, this time it was both. https://jeconais.fanficauthors.net/This_Means_War/1__Surprise_Snog/. "Now, now, Bella," The Dark Lord said, "At least Draco has tried to help, which is better than what can be said about others". ", "M-my lord," Father stuttered, looking terrified. Harry Potter coming out via Howler to his mother-figure professor McGonagall (and the whole school because it's at dinner and.. why not i guess?). He had gotten into the forbidden forest and caused it to be called the . This (short) story has parody elements. The Weasley Twins flew in on their brooms and set off explosives in the air that formed pictures of Umbridge with a huge red 'X' in the middle. AMAZING! "He is breaking the law!". James headed over to study table and enchanted a piece of parchment. Lily sighed as she opened it; she sat down to read the letter while rubbing her temples. Join Abigail Nova Black, the half-blood daughter of Sirius Black as she is born into the Wizarding world. linkffn(Harry's Twist by Ten Toes) has an open letter to Tom in the Prophet. If it is not opened or there is a delay in opening it, the letter smoulders, explodes violently, and shouts . Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings. [4]: https://github.com/tusing/reddit-ffn-bot/ "Fork me on GitHub" [5]: https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=tusing "The maintainer". The multiple trips back for fireworks and a diary. "As to who would be so bold as to send me a howler," The Dark Lord said. Please consider turning it on! The letter was smoking heavily now, shaking hard enough that the Dark Lord had to drop it on the table. On Samhain morn, he vows to question everything. James tried to calm his furious wife. It made his body shake. But obviously they knew Harry was at Privet drive. He stared at the colors he never believed to ever wear because he was supposed to be in green and silver like everyone else in his family. Add to library 11 Discussion 15 Suggest tags. NOW THERE'S THE MOST PATHETICPERSON ON EARTH TEACHING AT THE SCHOOL WHO GOES BY THE NAME OF 'UMBRIDGE' AND HAS RUINED MY LIFE MORE THAN YOU!??! By Mischievous Purple One. "And did you see Ginny and Helena on the train yesterday?" ", "Well," Ron said twirling his spoon around his cereal, "I take whatever I said back mate.". There was a snort of laughter that echoed from the howler that sounded suspiciously like Ron Weasley, and Draco was immenselygrateful for it, as it covered up his own involuntary laughter. Victory, Lord Voldemort thinks, takes many forms. The Great Hall erupted in to loud cheers and wolf whistles were heard throughout. Once down there, the room fell silent and the older students stared at Draco and whispered. In the past few years or maybe over the course of their whole lives Harry and Archie have become very skilled at subterfuge as well as general chaos generation. Being a vampire was one thing, but finding out he is an Omega had Harry struggling to see how he would manage to survive this year. The Hat had asked him where he wanted to go, it asked what he wanted. Warner Brothers. He had dodged the howler bullet, at least temporarily. Victory is felling a powerful opponent. "I hate you Harry." Warner Bros. Voldemort is one of the most complex characters in the "Harry Potter" series. yeah :D i think I read that one and have no problem read it once more. Harry grabbed hold of some of the sheets on Ron's bed and motioned for Draco to do the same. Whereas, the young blond had just heard about the stories of the mysterious mirror from his mother and father. "It's nice to see you're in a better mood Harry" said Hermione happily. Complete. You better be 13 or older if your gonna read this.. *Time skip to next day, morning, with Harry*. #umbridge. linkffn(12825622). He knows that Snape had sent his parents a letter regarding his sorting. "Lucky," Ron said, stuffing a piece of toast in his mouth. "It is with great sadness that I must inform you that your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Umbridge has been brutally murdered by the Dark Lord. You will find out here. Reg, he said distastefully. Site: fanfiction.net | Category: Harry Potter + Addams Family Crossover | Rated: Fiction M | Chapters: 24 | Words: 164,537 | Reviews: 1,672 | Favs: 5,030 | Follows: 5,687 | Updated:._3K2ydhts9_ES4s9UpcXqBi{display:block;padding:0 16px;width:100%} . In a small kitchen of a small cottage at the end of the street in a village named Godric's Hollow, two dark haired men sat debating the Quidditch rankings that would be released at the end of the year. Harry just nodded again. Lucius responded. EITHER WAY YOU'RE REALLY PATHETIC, AND WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A NOSE?!? 51 guests I liked it enough to Favorite it. James, however, refuses to leave and calling on his years of Marauder experience, sets up an elaborate Home Alone-esque series of traps to humiliate Voldemort. "Ah, another Black wanting to get away from tradition, yes child I am aware you're a Malfoy. Draco coughed, trying to cover an amused snort as he realised why the rant sounded so familiar. #ronweasley "Exactly." A one-shot of Harry in his second year where Lily and James are still alive. Best not think about muggles here, Draco thought to himself as he strolled along the corridor towards the manors great hall. Oh, so sweetly hilarious and sad! A long pause ensued and Harry sat in anticipation, wondering whether this was the final straw and James was going to lecture him on his brash actions. It's a crackfic though. "Morning Ron! "Draco" Father muttered to Draco under his breath, "Is that-", "Yeah," Draco confirmed, just as soft. When it is opened, the sender's voice, which has been magically magnified to a deafening volume, bellows a message at the recipient and then self-destructs itself by burning. Ron, Hermione, and I are so proud.". "We'll talk to him when he gets back during Christmas.". When he was done he turned to see Harry still watching him, but his expression was unreadable. "I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED.". The letter burst into life and announced James' disappointment to the entire hall. It was always best not to attract the attention of anyone in the room, even those that his father once considered friends. James had used Sirius' owl, Govad, which was a faster flyer than the Potter's family owl, Malach. Remus had muttered to no one apparently as both husband and wife were too busy enchanting their howlers to their son and Sirius was laughing silently in the corner. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. YOU HAVE TO TELL YOUR GODFATHER AND ME ABOUT IT WHEN YOU GET BACK FOR CHRISTMAS. (Lil' drarry) I was in a bad mood and Umbridge is a lovely victim. If you log in you can store your preference and never be asked again. In book 5. ._1sDtEhccxFpHDn2RUhxmSq{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-flow:row nowrap;flex-flow:row nowrap}._1d4NeAxWOiy0JPz7aXRI64{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}.icon._3tMM22A0evCEmrIk-8z4zO{margin:-2px 8px 0 0} ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE! Draco shuddered, shutting down the thought as he entered the manors great hall. He must find his own way back to the future without upsetting the time line, but the Dark Lord is on the rise, and Harry's never been good at keeping his head down.Canon Divergent after "Snape's Worst Memory" in OotP. I was in a bad mood with Umbridge so I decided to kill her off. He was shaking while he put on his robes and he ignored the concerned looks from Harry. If you proceed you have agreed that you are willing to see such content. Ron Weasley is on his mother's naughty list again. Harry handed the Howler and said "Please give this to Lord Voldemort, tell him who it's from, and then leave immediately, okay?" "After all that I've done for you, you'd better share whatever sweets you get from Mum." He had only heard of Howlers but this had to be one. I HOPE YOU KNOW MR. WEASLEY IS FACING AN ENQUIRY AT WORK AND THAT YOUR BRASH ACTIONS HAS NEGATIVE REPERCUSSIONS ON EVERYONE, INCLUDING THE ENTIRE WIZARDING COMMUNITY. The man with round spectacles and messy hair tilted his chair backwards and shook his head at his companion. My version of the whole letters back and fourth between Voldemort and Harry story line. Site: fanfiction.net | Category: Harry Potter | Rated: Fiction T | Words: 1,970 | Reviews: 371 | Favs: 1,708 | Follows: 458 | Published: 7/5/2007 | Status: Complete | id: 3638418 | Language: English | Genre: Humor/Parody | Characters: Harry P., Tom R. Sr. | Download: EPUB or MOBI, Not letters, mind you. Helena shrugged her narrow shoulders. He threw a panicked glance at the Dark Lord, but he didn't seem to have caught Draco's thoughts. "Oh, I just took Ron's advice to heart." Site: Archive of Our Own | Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling | Published: 2017-03-23 | Updated: 2018-12-22 | Words: 415301 | Chapters: 32/36 | Comments: 389 | Kudos: 632 | Bookmarks: 188 | Hits: 15461 | ID: 10413771 | Download: EPUB or MOBI, FanfictionBot2.0.0-beta | Usage ffnbot!ignore, Linkao3(https://archiveofourown.org/works/25966192/chapters/63122194). When they do they increase in sound." Fair warning it's not exactly a serious read, go into with an open mind and prepared for ridiculous nonsense. "Greggory! A silly fic without much sanity, in chapter 4 he sends a letter to Tom which made me smile. "Is that-" "How could he-" "No way-" The Death Eaters whispered amongst themselves, frantically confirming to each other that Potter had sent The Dark Lord a howler. Roy Mustang is sent on a mission to protect Harry Potter and defeat the Lightning, a mysterious villain who pulled the strings of both Father and the Homunculi and Voldemort and the Death Eaters. ALL BECAUSE I SAID THAT YOU WERE ALIVE, NOW EVERYONE IS READING THE MOST PATHETIC BOOKS ON EARTH, I'VE BEEN SUBJECTED TO A LIFE OF DETENTION IN WHICH I'M FORCED TO CUT UP MYSELF, AND THE WIZARDING WORLD HAS BEEN INFLUENCED ENOUGH TO BELIEVE THAT YOUR DEAD AND WILL NEVER BACK BECAUSE YOUR NOT STRONG ENOUGH!!!!!! hermione, l. ._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq{margin-bottom:8px;position:relative}._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq._3-0c12FCnHoLz34dQVveax{max-height:63px;overflow:hidden}._1zPvgKHteTOub9dKkvrOl4{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:21px;font-weight:400;word-wrap:break-word}._1dp4_svQVkkuV143AIEKsf{-ms-flex-align:baseline;align-items:baseline;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);bottom:-2px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-flow:row nowrap;flex-flow:row nowrap;padding-left:2px;position:absolute;right:-8px}._5VBcBVybCfosCzMJlXzC3{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText)}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI{position:relative;background-color:0;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);border:0;padding:0 8px}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:before{content:"";position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;border-radius:9999px;background:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);opacity:0}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:hover:before{opacity:.08}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:focus{outline:none}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:focus:before{opacity:.16}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI._2Z_0gYdq8Wr3FulRLZXC3e:before,._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:active:before{opacity:.24}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:disabled,._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI[data-disabled],._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI[disabled]{cursor:not-allowed;filter:grayscale(1);background:none;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaTextAlpha50);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaTextAlpha50)}._2ZTVnRPqdyKo1dA7Q7i4EL{transition:all .1s linear 0s}.k51Bu_pyEfHQF6AAhaKfS{transition:none}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK{transition:all .1s linear 0s;display:block;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-field);border-radius:4px;padding:8px;margin-bottom:12px;margin-top:8px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-canvas);cursor:pointer}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK:focus{outline:none}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK:hover{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK._3GG6tRGPPJiejLqt2AZfh4{transition:none;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}.IzSmZckfdQu5YP9qCsdWO{cursor:pointer;transition:all .1s linear 0s}.IzSmZckfdQu5YP9qCsdWO ._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq{border:1px solid transparent;border-radius:4px;transition:all .1s linear 0s}.IzSmZckfdQu5YP9qCsdWO:hover ._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button);padding:4px}._1YvJWALkJ8iKZxUU53TeNO{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 ._3jyKpErOrdUDMh0RFq5V6f{-ms-flex:100%;flex:100%}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 .dqhlvajEe-qyxij0jNsi0{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 ._12nHw-MGuz_r1dQx5YPM2v,._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 .dqhlvajEe-qyxij0jNsi0{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;cursor:pointer;-ms-flex-item-align:end;align-self:flex-end;-webkit-user-select:none;-ms-user-select:none;user-select:none}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 ._12nHw-MGuz_r1dQx5YPM2v{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);margin-right:8px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-errorText)}._3zTJ9t4vNwm1NrIaZ35NS6{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:21px;font-weight:400;word-wrap:break-word;width:100%;padding:0;border:none;background-color:transparent;resize:none;outline:none;cursor:pointer;color:var(--newRedditTheme-bodyText)}._2JIiUcAdp9rIhjEbIjcuQ-{resize:none;cursor:auto}._2I2LpaEhGCzQ9inJMwliNO,._42Nh7O6pFcqnA6OZd3bOK{display:inline-block;margin-left:4px;vertical-align:middle}._42Nh7O6pFcqnA6OZd3bOK{fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);height:16px;width:16px;margin-bottom:2px} #dobby During first year, a very unpleasant howler was sent to Professor Snape, thanks to James Potter and Sirius Black. Snape had glared with such hatred at the young Potter boy that everyone near Harry hadn't dared to look up at the Potions Master. Where a sweet and simple thing, needs to stay that way. Harry Potter | Voldemort | Short Stories Humour Completed Sends Howler Shot. In the beginning of Harry Potter's 4th year at Hogwarts, he recieves a howler from his "Uncle" Sirius Black, informing Harry of his younger . Lily Potter (ne Evans) demanded from the Living Room where she was reading the Prophet. No, the Dark Lord probably wouldnt care too much if stray thoughts of muggle customs flitted through Dracos mind. as well as 442. complainers of magical cores. ._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4{width:100%}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4:hover ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA{display:none}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4 ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA,._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4:hover ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:block}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4 ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:none} Hermione and Draco wanted to know what the mirror would state their deepest, most desperate desires in their hearts were. "I expect you know what this is all about, then?" The Golden Trio just stared at the letter in confusion but before they could say anything, Dumbledore stood up and silenced the Great Hall by shooting a blast in to the air. Harry smiled. On another note, how would you feel if Draco and I had sex. Do you think I could be one too?!" Harry finished his rand with a satisfied sigh and stopped the recording. But youre about to be in really big trouble, Sirius., Sirius felt his annoyance fade, cold dread taking its place. "Who else do we know would be insane enough to suggest stealing Dad's car in the first place?". He held up the howler. James and Lily are alive, and Harry gets an interesting Howler after crashing the car at the beginning of second year. Both have a Harry Potter who, after being kicked out of the Dursleys, ends up going to Hogwarts under the false identity of muggleborn orphan Mark Twist. He was terrifying to every student but to five girls. After looking into Snape's pensieve, Harry makes up his mind to take charge of his actionsbut before he can, he is sent back in time to 1975. #dracomalfoy It was likely. a young, sheltered Omega, has been sent away from Malfoy Manor for his own protection. Harry just smiled at Ron "It's fine" responded. I tried to reason with Mum, he whispered. LIKE, WHAT'S THE POINT IN BEING THE GREATEST DARK LORD EVER IF YOU CAN'T EVEN HAVE A NOSE TO SMELL WITH!??! "Is that-", "A howler," The Dark Lord said, turning the envelope that had started smoking. "Don't tell me what to d-" Lord Voldemort began but then the howler exploded and Harry's angry ranting enveloped the room: "VOLDEMORT YOU MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE! A story of choosing someone over everything else; of fighting the whole world for the one you love. Harry had grown bright red during their rant and refused to look anywhere except for his hands. they exclaimed in unison. I AM ABSOLUTELY DISAPPOINTED WITH YOUR ACTIONS LAST NIGHT, ESPECIALLY AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE TAUGHT YOU! When Molly tries to escalate the conflict further, Severus must choose between his budding relationship with Hermione and his desire for revenge. Site: Archive of Our Own | Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling | Published: 2020-08-18 | Completed: 2020-08-19 | Words: 6452 | Chapters: 3/3 | Comments: 159 | Kudos: 2677 | Bookmarks: 586 | Hits: 17252 | ID: 25966192 | Download: EPUB or MOBI, FanfictionBot2.0.0-beta | Usage | Contact ffnbot!ignore. Read it once more while rubbing her temples to see you 're a Malfoy heart. Into the Wizarding world and the older students stared at Draco and are... Mood and Umbridge is a delay in opening it, the letter while rubbing her temples, asked... Smoking heavily now, shaking hard enough that the Dark Lord said turning! Had sex blond had just heard about the stories of the whole world for the one you.! And enchanted a piece of parchment whereas, the letter burst into and. ( Harry 's Twist by Ten Toes ) has an open letter Tom! Family owl, Malach to the entire hall start taking part in.. Blond had just heard about the stories of the sheets on Ron 's advice heart! 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